Last time I do that again

It is finally over! Red and I finished the Ladies Spring Tea on Saturday, and I can tell you, we were both thankful. LOL, we both pinky promised to never do this again, no matter what, not even if they offered us a round table. We always get stuck with a rectangular table, even if we are one of the first to sign up on the registration form. They usually give the round tables to the same women. Lucky them. Oh well. At least we won't have to deal with that again. We were talking about doing our own tea, with our own friends in our own homes. What is the point of going to a a tea, when there is nothing much older women, who want to sit there and gossip or leave you out of the loop because you are younger. I felt so out of place because I was a great deal younger than the rest of the women. Isn't that sad. Fake smiles, fake laughs, empty conversation. Anyways, the wedding coordinator for the church, who was my wedding coordinator for my wedding, was the speaker for the tea. I have my opinions about her, I had difficulty and more stress and anxiety dealing with her during the wedding process that I would care not to remember. But Red made a good point; she sure did pull off a good show. And she did. My wedding was beautiful and flawless. Anyways, she made her speech and talked about the wedding process all the way up to the wedding ceremony. I sat there visualizing my wedding day, how I felt, how I looked, how my best friend, my sister, my family looked on that day. How extremely anxious I was to see the man I love. I even cried remembering when I was walking down the aisle towards my love. I love thinking about that moment. At that moment, I wanted to hop in my car and drive home to see my hubby so I could give him a hug and a kiss and tell him how much I love him and how extremely blessed I am that God gave him to me. I am extremely blessed to be married to such a wonderful man. Well, the more she kept talking, the more I kept feeling that same anxiety I felt while working with her. Anyways, I am glad it is over. It didn't help that I had to work the same day too.
I'm sorry, I am just tired, and I am whining right now. Forgive me. This has been a long weekend and I wish I could have another day off to relax. Is it time for me to take a vacation yet?

Is it time for a vacation yet?

Work, Work, Work! It's almost like a baby, Eat, Sleep, and Poop! Although, they have it easy, they don't have to work. Lucky! I feel so bogged down and having to pick up after too many people. Why can't my job be easier. I love my job, at least I think I do. You know that is bad when you aren't sure if you like your job anymore or not. A year ago, I had no problem saying how much I love my job. I think I have to tell myself that I love it so I don't go crazy or convince myself that I am happy. But when you have only 6 people on staff, and having to do everyone elses job, it makes it pretty difficult. I can't keep doing this anymore. I can't keep doing everyone else's job just because one person knows I will do a better job and get it done. Maybe it is time for a change. I have been praying, not very often, about where God wants me, and I haven't heard anything. So I assume to stay where I am and be content. Now, I don't know if I can do that anymore. But then when I get the notion into my head to start looking for a new job, my gut starts to act up and my guilt takes hold, then I talk myself out of getting out because my fear of change and something new and the fear of never succeeding takes over. I'm afraid of what happened when I was a manager 4 years ago. I was let go, and that has never really left me. I'm scared of that happening again if I try for a new job and then suck at it. Red wants me to be with her and it would be fun to be with my big sis again. I loved it when she and I worked together. We have lived together, worked together and have been best friends for 3 years now, maybe more. It feels like forever and it has been great. I'm just afraid. Right now, I have that lump in my throat; the one you get when you feel like you are going to cry. I'm not going to cry, well maybe later. I am just tired and worn out from work.
Lord God, please show me where you want me to be. Please reveal to me your plan, or a piece of your plan to me. Calm my spirit, and my heart. Give me the peace to continue through my day to day routine and help me to have the strength to continue in a place where I feel there is no hope. I thank you for your many blessing that you have given me and the many gifts you have bestowed upon me. I love you Lord God. Amen.
later.

i can has cheezburger is awsum!

This was too funny! Don't you just feel this way some times? I sure do!

Sick at home feeling awful

I hate being sick! Well, lets start here...last week was spring break and a co-worker was sick, but with her, she hardly ever shows the symptoms, a cough here sometimes, and a sneezing occasionally, like we all do in that office (I think we are all allergic to something in that office...I know we are all allergic to work...haha...if only). Anyways, she said she had a sore throat, etc. in the middle of the week, and I didn't think anything of it. Saturday rolls around, and I start having a sore throat, and drainage in my throat. Well, when it comes to my throat, I immediately take a flash light and check my throat for any white bumps or anything disgusting. Yep, sure enough, there are white bumps in my throat, I think on my tonsils. So I of course call the doctors office to get an appointment, and what do you know, they are completely booked up and can't see anyone. Well Sunday was Easter of course, but I had called Scott & White to check and see if there was any clinic open, they gave me the name of the clinic and told me to call in the morning. Open? Whatever! I called the clinic they told me to call and they had a recorded message stating that they were closed for observing Easter. DUH! Anyways, I call around to other clinics, and I was on hold for 45 minutes trying to get in touch with someone in the office or at the front desk. NO ANSWER! Goodness! Well, so I had to suffer miserably with sore throat, cough, drainage, small fever, plugged up ears, etc.
I finally got an appointment this morning and went to see the doctor. Zac has been so sweet and helpful in taking care of me, making sure I am not supposed to be up and walking around, but resting. What a sweetheart! Well, he drove me this morning, and of course, what do I have that I knew I had, Tonsillitis! I have had this thing too many times in the past 5 years to recognize it, but it didn't hurt as much as it had been in the past, just a lot more drainage this time. I am extremely happy for that. Well, I get in to see the doctor, and all he tells me is that there isn't any medication to give me, all I have to do is drinks TONS of fluids and rest. I'm not even allowed to go to work for a couple of days, which I don't mind. But having to stay in bed, and sleep or rest, is almost impossible for a person that has ADD. Oh well, I am going to have to do the best I can. The doctor told me something interesting though, that Tonsilitis is a viral infection, which I didn't know. I thought it was something you would get after you drank after some one. Tonsilitis is close to having Strep Throat. But Strep is worse. I think the last time I had Strep, I think I was a kid. But anyways, I caught this from the person at work, and I am on bed rest. He said that if I am not careful and do what I am supposed to do, drinking lot so of fluids and really resting/sleeping, that it would turn into a bacterial infection which would be horrible. Please pray I don't get worse.
Anyways, I am tired and don't feel well, and I think the Tylenol Sore Throat and Cough is kicking in...that is great stuff! Talk more later.

Playing Favorites

I hate it when a business plays favorites with it's employees. It is irritating, mean and down right rude to the other employees that actually work their ass off and do things right. The "favorites" get away with anything and don't have to do a damn thing and don't do anything wrong in the eyes "boss/owner". If they don't do something, they just pin it on the other employees and get them into trouble, and almost fired. I just found out that the owner of a certain company, has a favorite employee and is paying for his car, his cell phone, etc. Is it just me, or does that seem extremely wrong. The owner doesn't do it for anyone else except for this one guy employee. And meanwhile, this one employee doesn't do a dang thing that he is supposed to be doing except getting the others into trouble with the owner. My temper is running really high right now, and I can't do anything about it. I think the owner is a sleeze anyway, and we are wasting a TON of money on someone who is, to me, ripping us off. If I could, I would name the company and suggest for others to never do business with them, EVER! But I am not that mean and besides, these GUYS will get what is coming to them anyways for what they are doing.

Another Summer Musical

"The hills are alive, with the sound of music..." Woops, wrong musical. Red and I are going to try out for Temple Civic Theatre's summer production of "South Pacific" by Rodgers & Hammerstein. South Pacifc is one of my favorite productions, as well as "Sound of Music". We did "The King & I" last summer and enjoyed it. It was a lot of work but it was great! Red and I laughed, cried, grinded our teeth, but still enjoyed it. There are really only a few main roles, the rest are just background or fillers. I think Red will get Nellie Forbush, and she would be so fantastic! I was thinking about trying out for it, but I would feel extremely uncomfortable kissing another guy. Just imagine, my husband sitting in the audience on Opening Night and having to watch me kiss someone other than him. I don't want to do that to my husband. And that is why I would be a horrible actress. To me a kiss is so personal and intimate and private. Sharing that with someone other than the man I am married to, would probably hurt me more than it would him. Just seeing his facial expression of surprise or even hurt would kill me. Zac is a very understand person, and I wouldn't ever want to hurt him or disappoint him. He knows how scared to death I am about him ever cheating on me, even though I know he wouldn't ever do that to me. Just my past history keeping that wall up. Anyways, back on subject...there is Nellie, Bloody Mary, Liat (I think that is her name) are really the only leading female roles. I would suck as Bloody Mary, and Liat doesn't speak really, which would be ok with me. But I'm just hoping I don't have to make my hair black, oh Lord, that was an awful experience, and not really one I would like to repeat. But if I have to, I have to, right? But lets start with the audition first, and hopefully this time I won't cry in the middle of my audition. That was an awful experience. I still can't believe I did that. The more I talk about this, the more I am going to talk myself out of doing the audition...so I am going to quit now. Later.

In the world of Boring!

It's Spring Break for everyone around here and it is times like this that I wish I were out and about having a great time and being easily distracted by something other than the reality of being here at my desk bored out of my mind. No fair! I feel like that little kid that got grounded and can't go outside to play with my friends. So I just watch them have fun while I sit at my window banging my head against it to see if I give myself a concussion in the hopes that my parents will take pity on me and let me go outside. How pathetic am I?

My husband is in Austin today for some stupid training that his boss decided for him to go to. Sure it gets him away from his desk, but his pathetic excuse of a superior needs to get it's head out of it's butt and realize that he is working his butt off for them making sure things work around the office. What a bunch of....well better not go there. I won't even go into all of that.

Since it is supposed to rain (umm, it is Texas, when it says it is going to rain, seriously, don't rely on the weather here, it always changes) he took my car instead of his to drive the whole 1 hour drive to Austin. LOL. My car that works, and has a defroster so that when it gets foggy from the humidity, will actually do something other than fog the window up more. When he asked to use my car last night, I was completely hesistant. I look at him as if to say, "and I am to drive what? I know you don't mean that P.O.S. that is sitting in the parking lot?" To repeat from Robots, "but it's not...shiny." But he looked up at me with those goofy puppy dog eyes and totally caved in. I hate it when he does that. lol. I don't mind. Well at least I didn't, until the minute I got out to his car to get in it this morning. I put the key in the door, turned it, took the key out and proceeded to open the door only to be rejected. "Failed" I tried again, it did the same thing. So I am standing there, finally putting my purse, bag, lunch, etc. on the ground and growling under my breath and calling it a "piece of crap". I had gotten to the point of actually putting my foot up on the car and using both hands to try and yank the car door open. Isn't that a visual! Finally, it decides to unlock and I open the door only to look in. At this point, I become the totally stuck up city girl and look in the car in disgust. Not my proudest moment I'll admit. The thing about my husbands car is that it was given to him by his parents as a getting around car until we decide to get him a new one, meaning when it finally dies. It's on its last leg anyways, that is why it is called "Ol' Blue." It gets him from point A to point B and back, but only that. Anywhere else we go, we use my car because it has air conditioning, and everything else works too. Shoot, my grandparents gave me an '89 Lincoln Towncar when I was a Senior in High School and loved that car. It was great, well taken care of and everyone loved piling in it to go around town. But the Lincoln was the same year as his, and mine was in way better shape. I had to trade it in for my Honda because of the Gas. What on earth happened to the car when his folks owned it? No wonder they wanted to get rid of it. Yeah...Thanks! lol.

Anyways, I get in the car being careful not to touch anything I don't have to and making sure I'm not sitting in anything, lol, j/k. I turn the car on and it makes a funny noise. I can't see over the steering wheel, so I am looking around trying to find some sort of lever or knob or button to move the seat up higher and closer to the steering wheel. All you other short people out there can sympathize with me. Yep, the knob is hanging off the seat by it's wires. Well I notice that there is a light on the dashboard that is lit saying "Brake!" So I look around and find the emergency break, step on it but it doesn't release or do anything. I find the 'break release' knob and pull and it doesn't do anything. I sit there in confusion, pick up my phone and call Zac and complain. lol. I was like, "it's not doing this", "what is this sound", "why is it doing that", and so on. He just laughed and patiently and lovingly told me the different things. I just tell him I don't know how he drives it everyday. He just laughed, and half joking, I tell him when he gets home, we need to get him a new car. I'm so awful. I know he doesn't feel any better about driving that car. But he is being very smart about the whole thing. Trying to save up money for 8 months and paying for a car in full. If we can make this car last that much longer, it will be better in the long run. Oh well. I love my husband and he has so much more patience and humility than I do. Me...I am a stuck up city girl. Wow, did I just say that?

Pitiful

Whenever I get sick, I am the most pitiful person and so wimpy. I feel helpless, like everyone does, and I hate having to stay in one place for longer than an hour. Comliments of having ADD. *giggle* Well Zac is sick with Bronchitis from what the doctor said this morning. I came home from spending a couple of hours with Red last night, and I see my cute and adorable hubby at the computer. I ask him how he is feeling, and he tells me, "awful". I walked over to him and put my hand on his head and he is burning up. At this point, I'm like, "oh crap" because I don't know what he may have. Munchkin had a fever the day before and had a little fever when I left Red's house last night. I felt really shaky and kind of nauseous, so I went home. But getting home to a hubby who isn't feeling well, just kind of sent my stomach for a turn. When he doesn't feel good, my mercy gift goes into overdrive and starts to worry. Well he took some Tylenol, and he still had a high fever, and then a massive headache, and the cold chill from the fever. Needless to say, he looked a little pitiful. I started to get a little scared because his mom told me when he gets sick, he gets sick fast. I thought he had the beginnings of the Flu and I was not about to get myself into that. He put himself in the spare bed in the office and I took our bed because he didn't want to get me sick. I fell asleep for an hour at a time, woke up every hour to check on him, see how his fever was doing, it hadn't gone down, took more tylenol, and I went back to bed as soon as my stomach started hurting again. I did this from 10:30pm until about 12:30am. Once my stomach finally stopped playing tricks, I told Zac to come to bed with me. I hate sleeping in our bed by myself. I didn't care if I got sick at that point. I just wanted him to be in the same room with me, so that way I could monitor him and his breathing.
Well 10:50 this morning, we were able to get to the doctor. And of course the doctor said that it didn't sound like the flu, but he was going to treat him for Bronchitis. I'm thankful it wasn't the flu. yuck. So Zac and I are at home, and I am trying to convince him to stay in bed...yep, that will never happen. lol.

Our First Christmas and New Years as a Married Couple

This year Zac and I stayed home for our First Christmas as a married couple. It was fantastic. His Mom kept saying, "if you want us to come up before or after Christmas, just let us know, and we'll come up!" Umm...NO!!!!! What part of we want to be by ourselves don't they understand?!?! Everyone keeps saying, "you won't be able to pull that off with any of your family as a newly married couple. At least not until you have kids." Great! Notice the sarcasm. But I made it perfectly clear to his family, that we were staying home for Christmas and New Years. My parents flew in to see us and stayed with me and Zac for a couple of days. It was great seeing my parents. Since they live in a different state, it is hard being able to see them anytime we want. Zac and I both with they lived closer, but that isn't an option right now. Maybe when we move out of state, we can live closer to them.
But Christmas and New Years was quiet, peaceful and just the two of us. YEAH! It was really wonderful. Maybe we can pull this off again next year? LOL. Yeah right, but hey, I can dream can't I?

The Oddballs of the Family

I am sure everyone thinks that their family is so bizarre and that you are the only one that is normal. Yep, I would have to think the same as well. My immediate family, of course are normal, but relatives, like grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. are so strange. This year everyone in our whole family, had to draw a family members name out of a hat (which of course is always the grandparents that do the drawing and just assigns and tells everyone who they got) and to buy a Christmas gift for said chosen person. The limit was $30 per person. That is reasonable. We did that for both sides of the family, my mom's side, and my dad's side. I had my Uncle on my Dad's side and my cousin on my Mom's side. Well it got them something normal, and that appealed to their interests. My cousin, who drew my name out as well, got me a Christmas card with a bunch of scratch off lottery tickets....ummm...thanks??? I don't buy scratch offs, I think they are a waste of time and money, and it is not being a good steward of what God entrusted us with, meaning not being responsible for the money God entrusted us to have. Anyways, so not knowing what I had to do with a scratch off, except of course to scratch on them (duh). I had to actually read the instructions to make sure I didn't screw it up or anything. lol. Well I scratched them all, and behold, what did I win?!?! $30!!! The same amount as the one we were instructed to get for each other. Duh, I should have just been given the $30. That would have been so much easier and smarter. lol. Oh well. At least I got the the value of all the tickets purchased, lol.
Well, enough about me and my weird family, lol. I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year!