Don't you hate it when you are sick and you can't do anything about it? Well I couldn't have gotten sick at a more inconvenient time. Unfortunately there are too many people who are sick around me, mainly kids, but of course I had to get it. And it doesn't help that I have been stressed out because midterms are this week and they had to be all around the same time or on the same day. So trying to make sure I have the material covered for a test that will make or break my grade, is not comforting.
Why is that grades on tests and book knowledge is so important? Isn't it more important that you know what to do when you are out in the real world doing what you have been in school for? Doing good on a test or project does NOT guarantee that you know what you are talking about. You could seriously B.S. your way through it, get a great grade and still not know what the heck you just did...and for what purpose?
After breaking down yesterday to my best friend in the whole world, who is so much more wise than I am, about the woes of being in school and my doubts of "am I really going to be a good teacher?" crept up on me, she really put it into perspective for me. Yes I knew that "he who must not be named" was attacking me and I knew I was emotional, stressed out, tired, and not to mention sick, but the fact of the matter that I let him get the best of me irked me. It was really tipped off by what a professor said about students with ADHD. It rubbed me the wrong way and I took it WAY TOO PERSONALLY! But for the record, and speaking as a person who has been diagnosed with this, ADHD PEOPLE ARE NOT DUMB!!!! Now that that is out...I have been battling this learning disability most of my life and, as an adult, am trying to work with it without medication. It is hard, don't get me wrong, and there are days that I have to keep telling myself to go on and that I can do this (also the encouragement of those that I love helps). But I am still doing it. I am maintaining AB Honor Roll at school, I am recognized at school, and I work my tail off. But the problem is that I am a HANDS ON LEARNER! How come I can't do more of that? I feel more comfortable in the classroom, and as my friend says God flows through me when I am up front doing what HE has chosen and blessed me to do. I know that being a teacher is God's will for me. I have known ever since I was in High School, that I wanted to be a teacher. and even though I played Jonah and ran away from God, refusing to do what He called me to do, I still came back and am one year away from graduation. Regina pointed out that I have Senioritis REALLY BADLY!!! LOL, I had forgotten what this feeling was like. I mean, gosh, it has been 10 years since I felt it. But even though I feel like I want to throw in the towel and give up, I got thumped in the head (literally, with my own hand but by someone else's doing...*cough cough*) I laughed and realized I was being silly. I am one year away! God give me patience.
Anyways, off my soap box. I'm tired, just took some Nyquil, and I have to get up in the morning to take a test...I must be getting to bed now. Good night friends and sweet dreams!
