One Month today...one month to go. I will be getting married in one month from today. These past 6 or 7 months, however long it has been, has been an interesting experience. Something I sware I NEVER want to do again. I asked Zac the other day, "please don't let me do this again." It is a process yes, but it is something I don't ever want to go through again. Once is enough to make any bride refrain from planning any wedding ever again. Red and I were talking about if she were to get married again, she wants a small little wedding, nothing big, and SIMPLE in the back yard of the house with a grill going preparing BBQ and steaks for everyone. That is a fantastic idea! You go girl! But thankfully, I only have a month to go, and then it will be all over. Zac was saying that he wanted to go to bed early after the wedding. I just laughed, but I can understand. I just told him, try doing this by yourself for 5 months. Yes it is getting increasingly harder now that we are closer to the wedding, but after being under constant attack by family and the enemy, I have become so worn out and stretched way too thin. I've gotten to the point where I cry even more at the drop of a hat. Every little bump in the road and I want to throw my hands up and give up. But I know that isn't the answer. I am not going to give the enemy audience and he is not allowed to touch me. I just need to take a deep breath and pray constantly.
Today, for instance, one of my bridesmaids sent me an email saying that she was going to pester me because it was a couple of weeks before the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party, and I needed to get the details about the day. What in the HECK!?!? I didn't know that the bride was supposed to plan her own Bachelorette Party. I just want to go to Carlos n Charlies in Austin, see the band that is playing and eat and have drinks and have a great time! What else do I need to say?!?! Do I need to arrange the carpool as well? Do I need to arrange babysitters? Do I need to arrange every specific detail of everything? I'm tired of having to do everything by myself. Why not add something else on my plate, with EVERYTHING ELSE that I have to do? If there is something else that has to be added for ME to plan, I'm just not going to do it. I don't have time. I'm losing sleep over all of this and I am making myself a anxious emotional wreck. The encouragements I have gotten are from my sister, Red and Zac. If I didn't have them I don't know what I would do.
Slowly things are coming into place. I am meeting with my pianist today, and hopefully, he knows how to play everything that I requested and then that will be something I don't have to worry about. Then I have to take the music list that I want, take it to church to have it approved. Today is a busy day. Hopefully it will be a good one. God please bless my day today, go ahead of me and meet me at the end LORD. I need your help. Please help me, guide me, protect me and keep the enemy away from me and those around me. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!